A Pastor's Kid to a Pastor's Wife & Back Around

In the past three years, I've gone from being a Pastor's kid to a Pastor's wife and now soon-to-be-mom to a Pastor's kid. When people ask me "what was it like growing up as a Pastor's kid?" I answer with two words, "tough and joyous". Tough when I was a middle schooler who couldn't go to rated-R movies but joyous because life was good for us and God was good to us. I'm going to tread carefully here because some will not agree with me, but that's okay...(does anyone ever agree on anything these days?) There are a couple lot of things that I took to from growing up that I still hold firm to today. At the top rank faith & money (yes, money). I was going to make this all one post but if you're anything like me, you wouldn't read it. Long=skimming. So I'll break it up for you and I and try to be brief-ish.

When it came to faith, my parents never pushed their faith on me but I saw the work God was doing through them as a couple, their ministry at church, and through me and my siblings. That was something that I wanted to be a part of. God was never about religion or head knowledge in our house. Our families relationship with God never had anything to do with rules, regulations, do this & don't do that "because Jesus says so" but had everything to do with a lifestyle of loving Jesus - everything would flow from that! Did they encourage quiet times and sunday service attendance? Of course. Did they make us attend every function the church had when the doors were open? Nope. But we wanted to. Why? Because we loved the church. All four of us loved the church. Of course there were Sundays that we wanted to sleep and play hooky (and sometimes we did, let's be honest) But that didn't take away our love for the church.

So, how did my parents do it? Get us to love the church? Different ways. But now that I'm a Pastor's wife, I believe there was one prominent reason why we loved the church. And it was not because we "loved Jesus" (*gasp*) Here's the secret...my parents never (I honestly mean, never!) talked bad about another church in front of their children. Are there things that other churches did/do that they may not have agreed with? Sure! But did we hear about it? Never. Here's the deal, if you are always bashing another congregation, it will more times than not, put a bitter taste in your child's mouth for church. And not just the church you are criticizing, but every single church, yours included. If my parents had always talked negatively about a church, I guarantee you that I would not have married a minister and risked putting my future children in the "line of fire". Another thing that my dad was very good at was putting his family ahead of his congregation. And yes, there were many people and staff members that didn't agree with his ways. He missed many meetings, Wednesday and Sunday nights, and events at the church to sit at a dance recitals, cheerleading competitions, or baseball games. He was living proof that loving ministry and loving God are not the same thing. The church never dictated his devotion to his family. In turn, leaving me with no resentment towards him or the church!

What it all boils to is this: the Church is the bride of Christ, how do you talk about your bride to others or to your children? If you're a man and you bash your wife or you're a wife and you bash your husband in front of your children or to other people, it's going to put a sour taste in your child's mouth towards the other person. I've been around people who have criticized their husband/wife in front of me and to be honest, it's made me look at that person differently whether their issues were legit or not...but I wouldn't know the difference because I didn't live in their house and see first-hand what the issues really were. Wouldn't it be the same when we talk about the church in the same manner?

Am I perfect at this? Nooo! We all think we know the best ways to run a church or lead a family (even if we've never done it!) However, ever since I've been married and been knee deep in the ministry, I've learned this: If you're a follower of Christ and you preach the bible and yearn to see people move from death to life, we are ALL on the SAME TEAM striving for ONE PURPOSE for ONE NAME! This is what I grew up believing and it has saved my personal-sanity and my church-sanity ;) Think of what could be accomplished if we joined forces as The Church instead of going to battle with The [other] Church(es)!

So, as a soon-to-be-mom, I want Brooklynn to grow up loving the Church and her Church leaders and not grow up being so wrapped up in church skepticism that she loses focus on loving Jesus and what His bride is doing for our world.