Forgiveness Isn't Fair

Before I start, this is one of those blog posts I write in order to preach to myself & not necessarily others but I think it's something that everyone needs preached to them daily. One of my dearest friends, who serves alongside of us in student ministry texts me weekly always asking how she can pray for me and as much as I want to come up with something new and exciting for her to pray for me about, I end up always sending her the same thing, just worded in a different way.

If you know me at all you know I hate one thing: Conflict. I hate it so much that I start to sweat - which is another thing I absolutely hate. It's just a bad combination for me so I avoid it at all costs. I will literally FLEE in the opposite direction to avoid conflict and because of this, I harbor bitterness. Thankfully the years in ministry have taught me how to have some pretty tough skin and so it takes a lot more to hurt my feelings than it used to but that just means less bitterness ... it doesn't mean zero bitterness.

And, just when you think it seems to simmer down, something happens and it all comes back up again. Recently I've had to really ask the Lord for some help showing grace and He's shown me this: "When you harbor bitterness towards someone, you're letting them control you." and we all know we are supposed to be controlled by the Spirit. He's also pointed out that bitterness is contagious, forgiveness isn't fair, and we heal it with grace. Because that's the example Jesus gave to us. If anyone had any reason to be bitter it was Jesus. No one was more sinned against than He was but He had faith in God's judgment. When He went to the cross, He didn't say "This isn't fair." He merely responded with forgiveness and just like that, it was finished. When we respond with forgiveness and let it be finished in our lives, we model Jesus.

I try to live by Exodus 14:14 which says, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." I try and leave it to the Lord & heal it with grace. When we don't, we either clam up and play victim or we lash out and make it all about us. Bitterness reaps pride and causes others to not see Jesus. It's not about us. It's about Him and His model for us was grace & mercy towards people. As Christ followers, we receive forgiveness from the Lord and as a matter of fact, we expect it! As a call to obedience, we are called to forgiveness.